sometimes I wish I had a normal life! where when my daughter asks me if me and kolt are gonna ride the bus to school with her I wish I could say yes honey we are but instead say no honey we can't your brother is sick and see her starting to cry :-( my life has been different in the last 18 months I may get scared every time my son gets sick or when he makes a weird noise I jump to go check on him is he breathing?? is he chocking?? or when you have so many Dr apts and hospital stays that we know all the medical terms and what to do when we are home and its just us! the not sleeping at night because your afraid something is gonna happen to that lil man!! he is the strongest baby I know and has been through more then any of us have every been through!! but even after all that he can still look at me and smile ear to ear, lift his arms up for me to pick him up, and give me the biggest hug and snuggle with me!!! I love this boy so much he is my life even if my hair will be grey by the time I'm 25! I wouldn't change anything at all!!! I just wish he could get a break he's been through so much already! its also hard on jazz and she doesn't understand any of it :-(
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